Ben Nevis (1344m)

So we set off at a healthy pace, nod at all the people coming the other way and try to put to the back of our minds advice like 'make sure you set off well before noon'. Our gen remarks that the ben 'ranges from steep to very steep' as opposed to Scafell Pike which is merely 'steep and unrelenting'. Snowdon gets no comment so we figure it must be a relative walk in the park. We pass the track up from the youth hostel and are approaching the end of the first steep bit when we pass a party of school kids coming the other way. Some of these cheeky scamps are throwing stones at each other and the teachers are too few and too knackered to tell them all off. One such kid has picked up a rock and is hefting it thoughtfully. So MORT tells him to put it down and behave.
"But I'm taking it as a souvenir", he whines showing good creative thinking.
"Just put it down", says a weary and unimpressed MORT.
And he does! And they say the kids today show no respect.

The incline increases markedly after that as we make a serious assault on the lower slopes. We have a brief conversation with one family and their dog at one of our water stops, and they helpfully point out that we've got ages to go. The dog is the only one with any energy at this stage and is scampering all over the place. Rather too recklessly as it turns out; there is a teetering on the edge of the ledge followed by a mad scrabbling of legs. Fortunately Baylis is on hand to save the day and rescues the mutt from a nasty 100ft drop. He is hero of the hour and the rest of us bask in glory by association and we therefore feel fully justified in taking a lengthy breather to recover and admire the view.

So we trudge on, past Lochan Meall an t-Suidhe (which is an unpronounceable mouthful and a lake half way up the mountain) and start to tackle the zigzag path. I think there were 6 zigs and 5 zags which are the only way up the ridiculously steep upper slopes. The late afternoon is still pretty hot and it is knackering work. This is compounded by the fact that the path is broken and stony, making walking difficult. MORT in particular is really starting to feel it and progress is slow.

Lochan Meall an t-Suidhe

Though it had been sunny all day, the clouds are now closing in due to Sod's Law, and when we eventually emerge onto the summit plateau, it is into a grey and surreal world. There is still the remnants of winter snow up here and it juts out concealing treacherous hidden gullies. The ghostly luna landscape is disorientating and it's easy to believe the stories of walkers venturing out over nothingness and taking the fast route to the bottom of five finger gully. We move through the clammy pall, and in time make out the summit marker by the old observatory and highest war memorial. A few minutes later we are the highest people in the country.

Snow in June

Yay! First mountain climbed! Photos are duly taken and we settle down for some soup and chocolate / Scottish Tablet / high energy gel. Scottish Tablet is a home made affair favoured by MORT, involving sugar and more sugar; a bit like Kendal mint cake. Having reached the summit 15 mins ahead of schedule, we can afford some time at the top and it's disappointing that there's no view to admire while we rest. However when you're sat still and the cloud's in, your temperature plummets so it's not long before we're on the move again. To quote Baylis "It's freezing cold and we can't see sh*t, so let's get off this f*cking mountain".

Going down Ben Nevis was for me, the most pleasant part of the entire trip. We're still pretty much on schedule and make good time as we descend, with a definite emphasis on the 'good'. We emerge from the cloud layer just as the sun is setting and the views are absolutely outstanding. There's lakes (tarns?) that appear to be shimmering in the sky and the sun bathes the mountainside in a warm golden glow. We get to Lochan Meall an t-Suidhe (or 'that lake') and see tents - people are actually camping half way up Ben Nevis! Then a team of fell runners / army cadets / nut cases jog past us, and we cut across the final zigzag in a vague attempt to keep up. We arrive back at the car with 20 minutes to spare and no injuries so we're all feeling pretty pleased with ourselves as we pack up and prepare to move off.

warm golden glow

And believe me, you really do want to be moving off in a hurry because the midges up there are vicious little buggers and there are loads of them! You swat a couple and five more land on your arm! If you're lucky. If you're unlucky they land in your mouth. MORT had warned us. He'd said 'I'm not doing it later than June because of the Scottish midge season'. And we'd laughed and scoffed. They were in the car and everything. Not pleasant.